and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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