Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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