Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Quick, to the slutcave!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
