I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
