she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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