Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
