i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
my poor anus
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
