i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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