Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
