after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize