I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
