whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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