Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
