I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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