yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
