is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
should my penis look like a turkey
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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