Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
