If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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