They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
