woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
