I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize