Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
