Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
ttyl tear gas
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
