i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
