end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
