I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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