i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
