I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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