dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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