Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
