no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I see more hoeing in ur future
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