ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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