names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
