So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
