I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
