true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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