this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize