Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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