oh god the rape fog is back!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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