I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize