i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
