Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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