He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Someone signed my nipple.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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