I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The adults are the big ones right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
