I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
my poor anus
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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