I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
false alarm. still invincible.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
