Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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