White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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