that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
