Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
