you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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