There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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