I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
