I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
