Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

mornings like this make me wish i was morman.

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(636): View more from Missouri

So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.

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(810): View more from Michigan

i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe

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(404): View more from Georgia

It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up

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(303): View more from Colorado

you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant

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(708): View more from Illinois

you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group

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(816): View more from Missouri

You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.

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