If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
They took my balls.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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