dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
