STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There r osticjed everywhere
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
