I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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