Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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