How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
