Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize