so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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