He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
