Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
