I will die if light touches me.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
