And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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