I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
