Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My feet surprised me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
