I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize