So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
