i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
