Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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